You say his biggest fear is being rejected by you but at the same time your biggest threat seems to be sending him away to his dads...who he knows doesn't want him. Seems like a vicious circle going on there, the more you threaten him with it the more rejected by both of you he's going to feel.

Please don't take that as a critism, just an observation from what you wrote.

If your doctor is taking away meds that have been helping you do you think its time to see a different doctor? Some just aren't that empathetic towards depression and mid-counselling seems like a very strange time to take away a crutch.

SS wouldn't see his dad leaving him as abandoment as he left him with you to care for him, they ought to though, he's not only abandoned him but emotionally abused him too.

Sorry I cant help more than that, it sounds like a tough situation for you both and I hope you find a way through it. Always someone here to listen so keep talking if its helping you.

Sue,

I had a step son exactly like that and we ended up placing him in a treatment center for disturbed children. He was there a year and a half which gave our household some peace for a little while. He is now 18 a drop out and out of the house but his anger issues arn't as profound as they were so the treatment center was able to teach him to control that. Have you thought of a big brother type person that will listen to him as well as be a mentor. It sounds like he needs a father figure someone who is tough and won't put up with his attitude and put him in his place. Good luck!

Lori (and everyone) thanks for your replies.

Unfortunately there is nowhere for him to go. Unless he gets into the Youth Justice system again for something really serious nothing will be done. Social Services do not have the resources to accomodate 15 to 16 year olds in our area of the UK. This is why I keep trying to send him to his fathers; it isn't because I want to abandon him but I'm trying to help him see that his behaviour is intolerable and has to change before I can have him here. He is making me ill but doesn't seem to care.

Any help he gets is on a voluntary basis and he won't engage with any of it. I do not have a partner but I do have an old school friend who may be able to talk to him but the problem here is that he is a recreational drug user himself so is bound to be biased towards illegal substance use. I fear it would look as though I am condoning the very behaviour I am trying to curb in him.

His elder sister has taken him in for a few days even though this is not ideal because she has a toddler who doesn't need to see his bad behaviour. But at least I know he is safe until Friday. I know he won't come back here because he hates me at the moment and is not speaking to me. So I've no idea what will happen from there.