Don, it is different if your daughter has a brand new friend!. I have to admit, when my daughter was invited to the party of the same girl whose party she just went to when she was 11, I didn't let her go as she had only just met this new friend. However, now , I know her (not well... but I do know she's ok) and I have met the parents. I feel very different about it now.
If your daughter has a new friend, get your daughter to invite her round, so you can meet her. If you get her parents to collect her, you'll meet them too.
It is scary as our children grow as we have to let go of them. It must be even harder for you, due to the awful experience you and your daughter went through. It does make a difference that my daughter is going to parties in a well established friendship group. I know these girls fairly well. One has been a friend since they were 4 and we are friends with her family. I know that these friends would look after each other is someone was behaving out of hand. She has been invited to another sleepover, of a boy.. and I have discussed sleeping arrangements etc... and I know she is sleeping in a room with her friends and I know this will happen. I also know the parents whose house this is at. If your daughter isn't in this situation, stick to your guns. Try to get to know the new friends.
Don't worry about her reaction... she doesn't really hate you. She's cross and that's ok. The other parents who are ok with the party may well know the children involved and the parents and the houses. You can't know that.
Good luck.... and by the way... my daughter has been banned from sleepovers until March due to being mouthy and disrespectful over New year... that's their age. It's just our job to help them get through this difficult time and learn that you can't be rude.

Agreed ! and thanks for the comments, last night I let her come down from her room, sat her down and made sure that she knew exactly why she didn't get to go to the party, and exactly why she was confined to her room since Thursday night. And ways to avoid the problem in the future. She was understanding and last night and today so far have been great.

She is inviting her new friend and her parents over for dinner soon