It was "weed" which I presume is cannabis, ganja etc.
Yes, I hit the roof, perhaps I said things that I shouldnt of. Rob, the kid is 13 years old. What is a 13 year old doing with that?
To cap it all, my wife knew for a week? If she had said at the time, ok I would have been angry, but she left it a week, and then I find out that my daughters boyfriend bought it into the house. The way I found out wasnt exactly Kosher, but my wife knew about it, and still hasnt said anything to me.
Rob I hate drugs of all descriptions, kids shouldnt be getting hold of them. The punishment that my step son got was far to lenient. He's under house arrest til April.
My wife knew about my stepso, and the fact that my stepdaughters idiot of a boyfriend brought it in to the house. They all knew, as I didnt hide it how I feel about drugs, but they chose to ignore me.
Now Im made out to be the badguy!

Me again, Adrian.

Just wanted to say that you need to go with your gut feeling on this. I've heard all the arguments about marijuana not being a big deal. Rob, if you're reading this, I'm not getting at you personally, you think differently - I'm not saying I'm right and you're wrong.The reason I feel the way I do is that I used to be a Psychiatric Nurse and have spent a lot of time with people going through withdrawals and detox programmes. Not pleasant for anyone to put it mildly. All of them started out on marijuana, or whatever you want to call it, and none of them thought they would end up in the situation they did. So the "they're just experimenting", or "it's not addictive" lines that a lot of people trot out cut no ice with me.

I've seen too many lives ruined and quite a few young lives lost - it's different when you've seen these things with your own eyes. Particularly if you help to break the news to the parents or help to prepare a teenager's body to go to the hospital morgue - it puts a different perspective on things, believe me. By all means, listen to what they have to say, and bear in mind that everyone deserves a second chance, but if you feel really strongly stick to your guns. I know some parents who wish they had.

Take care,
Linda

Linda thank you.

My step son has learning difficulties. My wife mollycoddles him, Me no I wont. do get me wrong I love him dearly but, I will not have drugs in the house. Not happening.

I threatened to string him up (just words meant to scare him) and call the police. I refused to give him "just a slap on the wrist", which will give him free licence to do it again.

I do feel strongly and am so "anti drugs". My wife and step children knew from day one how I felt, but they disregarded my feelings. They cant have that much respect for me now can they?

My stepson is under house arrest til April. I think it will be sooner than that because my wife will give in to him.

He will get a second chance with me. He hates promises being made to him, so knowing that I got him to promise me to stay away from drugs.

If he breaks his promise then I will call the police.

My step daughter is a different matter. I cant tell my wife how I found out. Well, I know this is wrong, my wife left her mobile unlocked. She was out shopping and it went off. I picked it up and thinking it was important I opened the message. It was from my step daughter, and I quote "Are you upset with me? When I said that I wanted to smoke weed and get high? When J (boyfriend) offered it to me down stairs, I wanted to hide it. I could flush it down the toilet in case it floated and someone found it, I couldnt throw it in the bin in case Adrian found it. Hes looking for an excuse to throw me out.."

Well we agree on something. This was the day before my wife told me about my stepsons drug use. I havent told her that I know anything, how could I tell her with out landing my self in strife.

The fact that she is keeping it from me about the kids smoking weed. If my stepson was 18, he would be out of the house. My stepdaughter is 21, and I a gearing up to tell her to leave.

I never got on with my Dad when he told me "Whilst you are under my roof, you abide by my rules", I used to rebel against that, but "my roof, my house, my rules" will be heard loud and clear in my house.

If my hatred of drugs makes me the Devil incarnate, then just call me Satan!

Hi there,
What about telling thoses around you why your so against drugs calmly. Don't know if it will work!
Word of warning though the police will do nothing been there done that to scare my son. We asked if they could lock him up (he's 15) no they're not aloud to that anymore - they suggested taking him to the hospital to be tested - but they didn't want to---said it would have been out of his system -- so why are they so high so long?!
Theres not much help around - yes you can be taught what to look out for but what do you do when you've found it?! well I can't find any help anyway. It all seems so acceptable and expected. Stick to your guns and deel with it the best you can. I,v grounded our kid but we have to let him go out sooner or later.

Hi deb, I have told then why Im so against drugs, from day one for the past three years Ive told them.

In stead of respecting that, drugs were still brought into the house. Is there anywonder why I am "over reacting".

Worse still now, my step son wants to talk to his "drug pushing" daddy. Like father like son.

Im beating my head against a wall.

There are things happening with my step son now that are beyonf belief. The Social Services are involved now. Like always I found this out 2nd hand. My wife hasnt told me.
Im supposed to be a member of this family but Im being kept in the dark. Ive got the biological "dad" to contend with now.

Hi Adrian

As was said earlier you have to stick to your guns. A thirteen YO female relative started on 'recreational' drugs and is now 17 yo drop out, extremely depressed, self harming, no future, a physical wreck, smoking 20 'joints' a day and whatever else - all because it got out of hand. parents dont know what to do now. Expect the worst and it can only be better. Good luck.

Fiona

Thanks fiona.

Everything is happening now. My Stepsons bio father is a "drug dealer", and as my Step son wants to see him, "drugs" will only be glorified.

I will stick to my guns, even if it means I lose everything, even my wife.

whenI was told about my sons drug taking, I must admit I exploded and threatened to string him up (just words meant to scare him). or course I was the bully, thug call it what you will.
I did ask him what he would have thought if I said to his mother "I dont want to knowm YOU deal with it!" what kind of father would that make me.
"Not a very good one", he said it not me. His mother heard it too.
I said to his mother because this is putting a strain on our marriage. If it meant that he stays away from drugs then I would do it again!