The first thing i think you need to do is to make a list of all the things that you are currently taking care of.Then you need put them into categories, MY RESPONSIBILITIES, MY HUSBANDS RESPONSIBILITIES, list each chils responsibilities.I am getting the impression that you are looking after things that are not yours to look after.My mom when I was in grade 5 or 6 told me I needed to start making my own lunch, sometimes all i would take was an apple.It was up to me if i was going to look after some things myself.If you do not start getting others to take some responsibility then you are going to be doing all of it yourself always and resenting all around you.Talk to your husband about this as well.