To be very honest I would say no more contact with her dad as he is messing around. I have been through this before with my ex. I was told that as you have residency the father has to do what you say.
The father needs to be told this is not how you treat a child!!
Once contact has stopped you child will be able to carry on with life and will get out of this phase.
The school needs to be told what is going on too, so they know how to deal with the situation.
If your daughter asks when she is seeing her father, explain to her that he is very busy at the moment and will be in touch soon.
Good Luck