Re toilet issues: if he's little put vaseline on his bottom before he goes, if he's older get him to do it himself. Use creams inbetween and if it doesn't clear up take him to the doctors (it may be infected).
But give some more info on what he's doing thats upsetting you so much, much better to talk to someone than let it build up any further
He probably needs attention, not when he is being difficult, but when he is being good. Children want attention from adults and negative attention is better than nothing. How about trying to spend some time with him playing/ chatting/ having fun?
Then play sitting down.... reading books... even watch dvd's with him. When I was pregnant, I had to lie down... you can play duplo etc on the floor etc....., cars etc etc