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Re: Am I Dad or Adrian?

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time.

I have a step-dad and I have called him dad from an early age, he has always been there for me.

I would never have stopped calling him dad and started calling him by his firat name I think its unfair to pay about with peoples feelings. I can only imagine what you are going through and I feel really sorry for you.

Stick with it, they will come round. Dont be fooled by them if they try to get on your good side if they try and play you off against their mum, I been there, tried it. Think the key is perserverence (sp)!

Not too sure what to say about your wife not wanting children, seems a bit harsh to give an outright 'NO' to children, but if you spoke about this before commiting then there's not really alot you can do.

I hope you get things sorted, Emily.

Re: Re: Am I Dad or Adrian?

Sorry about the spelling mistakes!!

Re: Re: Am I Dad or Adrian?

My wife before we got married told my parents that she could wait to have children with me, then after we got married it was a different matter. The kids calling me "Dad" made up for the fact that my wife didnt want children. The kids asked me if they could call me Dad, I said "Sure, call me what you feel comfortable with", Over the 3 years they called me Dad, it sort of made up for the fact that my wife refused to give me what I most wanted a child. I do have a biological son by my first marriage but I am unable to see him. His mother and his Stepfathewr moved away with out telling me where, so Ive no idea where to start looking.

Like I said over the three years they called me Dad I grew comfortable with it and got used to it. It took one argument and then they reduced me to calling me Adrian. They forget what their biological father did to them since they were born. Their mother in an attempt to make it up to them, let them get away with blue murder.

Thats why she refuses to stand up to them where Im concerned. She would rather me me angry with her than the kids.

I said to my with that if my step daughter has a grudge against me tell me to my face, other wise as she is 21, and she has a job, then as my father always said to me "My roof, my house, my rules, if you cant abide by them then the front door is there for you to close behind you". That might sound harsh, but what else am I to do? Legally I can ask my stepdaughter to leave, morally is a different matter.

I can perservere hoping that they come round. It doesnt stop my longing for me to be called "Dad". my biological son cant say anything as he is very severely autistic, plus the fact is I havent seen him for over a year. I soooo miss that lad.

I will persevere, I only wish that my wife could see it from my side.

Re: Re: Re: Am I Dad or Adrian?

You need to get in touch with someone to help you find your children, there will be a link somewhere (your ex wifes friends might know something?)

I think thats really unfiar to up and leave without giving you a follow on address, what gives them the right to decide your sons future without you in it?

I hope things get better for you x

Re: Re: Re: Re: Am I Dad or Adrian?

Its my son, I have a son by my first wife. Of recent since my step kids have reverted to calling me Adrian it has only served to strengthen the longing for a child of my own. Longing to hear a kid call me Dad. Am I being silly?
My wife doesnt understand, she only says "Adrian is your name isnt it?" Thats as may be. I said to her "Well when you are a grandmother, youll be Nan, what will I be..."
That question cant be answered ...yet, but I will suspect it will be "Adrian", she doesnt understand just how upset I will be.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Am I Dad or Adrian?

Thats really sad Adrian...

Mayb you need to sit down and think hard about what you want for the future....

Take Care hun x

Re: Am I Dad or Adrian?

Ive already done that.

Because of the kids and the way she lets them get away with blue murder. They can do and say what they like, and be as rude as they like, its ok by "mommy dearest", the kids can do no wrong. My step son is in trouble at school for bullying. All my wife did was take his mobile from him for a month!

I feel Im hitting my head against the wall.