Thanks so much for your reply motherinbed. Thats what I believe deep down inside about the situation, I feel it was two innocent kids exploring each with each other, but on the other hand after it happend the second time I was very harsh with her, as I didnt want it to happen a 3rd time and go even further, like actual penitration etc.
I am trying very hard to let it go but I find my self bringing it up often as to teach a lesson in everything that comes along about decisions and rules etc...and it seems that its a bigger deal to me than it is to her.

But thanks again...Im open for any and all advice on the matter.

this issue has come and gone for the most part in our home, I just wanted to add that my daughter has fessed up to how this all came about and as it turns out the boy bribed her/threatend her(in a simple ten year old manner) to tell on her, for something she did at school, and she thought of it as a good way to not get into trouble,
Also the boy asked her if she wanted to do it "rape or regular" I dont know what he meant by that and she doest either, and I dont believe the boy knows what he was talking about....I have made the choice to keep her away from this boy he will be 11 years old in a matter of weeks, and I think he has started puberty and will continue to seek out some kind of fufillment with his new "discovery" down below.