http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684801302/qid=1128572392/sr=2-2/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_2/102-8819850-4467339?v=glance&s=books

check out this book by john gottman- i have posted on it before! many a time! it sounds like your son is having a lot of anger and frustration, but he doesnt know good ways to deal with these feelings. thats where he needs your help as a parent to 'coach' him through these feelings and teach him good, non destructive ways to deal with his anger etc. thats what this book is all about. it teaches you how to help him with his emotions, feelings and it emphasises the point that its FINE to have these feelings and emotions. they are perfectly normal-whats not fine is to deal with them by hurting others or himself. This book teaches you how to teach him these principles, in a way he will understand. i highly recommend the book, it includes quizzes and tests you can do to see what kind of parent you are and where you can improve to help your child, i know it sounds like im trying to sell the book but honestly its only because i know how well it really works!! good luck!!