Get the videos by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan called, 1-2-3 Magic:Encouraging good behavior/Managing difficult behavior in children. So as he grows, he will not take his feelings of being out of control with what he wants, out on himself. And, obviously his needs are not being met somewhere...are you saying No too much?
Also check out the following to better understand him;
The Temprements=keirsey.com
16 personality types based on=Kathy Kolbe Concept
Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs=pinpoint his needs
The Holy Bible=Gods instruction on Role Model/husband and wife roles.