Don't spank her, she is too young to comprehend that and you will end up with a hitter on your hands. She will start hitting you and other children. Physical punishment is not effective in the long term. I will only smack in extreme circumstances such as if my child tries to run out on the road. Time out is much more effective. Just put her in her crib for 2 minutes to calm down when she throws a wobbly. What she is doing is normal at her age. Some children start tantrums earlier than others. Don't be embarassed by what other people say or think. Most have no idea or forgotten which it is like to live with a toddler. When out in public avoid eye contact and ignore other people.

There are a couple of books you might want to read. One is Raising the Spirited Child and the other is Discipline without Shouting or Spanking. I can't remember the authors but you should be able to find them from the titles.

Go luck and things will get better. She is probably just frustrated as she is unable to express her needs properly at 12 months.

Thank you for your advice. Always willing to hear anyone out. I will definately look into getting those recommended books Raising the Spirited Child and Discipline with out Shouting or Spanking. Thank you. Any other comments are welcome. It's nice to hear that others have shared in the difficulty.

Because she is only 12 months old, it is going to have to be kind of OK for her to get her needs met this way! She is a baby! She does not have the awareness of the concept of what we call manipulation!

But very soon, she WILL be aware of how to manipulate. And so this bable bossing does NOT become the method she uses on you to get her way, and lead to all other sorts of dissention, you must plan your "discipline method" now! I have recommended this in other replys...Please just try to watch these videos called 123 Magic!
It sounds corney. And when I watched them, I rolled my eyes at the results that were supposed to occur. But it is a miracle! I get much greater Cooperation out of my children!!! The method does not use spanking, is a simple, win/win method for both parents and the kids! The key is Consistency, and this method is consistent-ABLE. My kids feel safe, loved, know what to expect, and feel that their consequences suck...but are fair. It took a few months to get the results that the tapes showed. But it was worth it! I have 4 young boys for God sakes! Amazon.com might have them. I borrowed them from my school distict. Tape one is for "start behavior" (start doing what I asked) and tape two is for "stop behavior" (stop what you are doing) and there are more in the series, but I dont need them...yet.