I kinda think you are giving your daughter all of your power. If she - or anyone - has the power to make you and your entire family have a bad day then there is more going on than just her. She is trying to get attention that she obviously feels that she lacks. It's very easy to say, "well I treat all my kids the same and I know she gets plenty of attention" but the proof is in the pudding (so to speak) and she is obviously not happy. Start focusing on what you like about her, the times when she did things that flowed very well with the rest of you. Start remembering the things about this child that trilled you from day one. Let her go through her crisises on her own in the morning. Just refocus conversation - and show her that you know how to keep your power!