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10 year old daughter

I am a mother of 3 daughters, ages 10, 7 and 2. My eldest daughter is giving herself and us as a family a really hard time. Every day we are arguing over silly things and I have come to a point where I can no longer put up with it. She has taken me to the brink of a mental breakdown. Have you got any strategies that may assist our family becoming happy again.
She is a lovely girl and when she is happy the rest of the family is happy, we have a really nice time. When she is in one of her moods (almost every day) the whole family is affected.
She refuses to get out of bed in the morning. Then she refuses to have breakfast and get dressed. She then has a tantrum about her undies and socks, saying that they are uncomfortable and then everything just escalates from there, to the point that she is a blubbering mess by the time she gets to school. If she has an afternoon activity that she has to get ready for, it all happens all over again. At night she goes to bed quite willingly, but after an hour or so sleep, she wakes up all in a fluster, and repeatedly goes to the toilet and gets angry with herself. Therefore making herself so tired she finds it hard to fall asleep again.
She stresses over her appearance and also over time. She is only 10 years old, and I am very concerned.
We have tried different strategies with her, like rewarding her for good behaviour, setting timetables for her to follow, helping her to organise her things the night before etc etc

Re: 10 year old daughter

I kinda think you are giving your daughter all of your power. If she - or anyone - has the power to make you and your entire family have a bad day then there is more going on than just her. She is trying to get attention that she obviously feels that she lacks. It's very easy to say, "well I treat all my kids the same and I know she gets plenty of attention" but the proof is in the pudding (so to speak) and she is obviously not happy. Start focusing on what you like about her, the times when she did things that flowed very well with the rest of you. Start remembering the things about this child that trilled you from day one. Let her go through her crisises on her own in the morning. Just refocus conversation - and show her that you know how to keep your power!