I have an idea! I have an 8 year old daughter and feel like all I do is nag. Then I get angry, she gets angry and it's just a visious cycle! SO, one morning after telling her 8 times to put on her shoes and socks, I got an idea. I made a "To do chart" on a dry erase board and listed all the stuff she needs to do in the morning going down the left hand side (Get dressed, put her dirty clothes in the hamper, brush teeth, etc.). Going across the top I made the days of the week and then drew lines so she could check off each activity on a particular day as she did it. Now she didn't need nagging, she saw on her own what she had to do. Then, to reward her, for every day that she does everything on the list without being reminded or arguing, she gets 50 cents. The first day we tried it, she got up, dressed and brushed her hair in her room before I even knew she was awake! She opened her door and there she stood with her dirty clothes (on her way to the hamper) and a proud smile on her face. That excitement wears off from time to time but I just make a new chart or do something else to make it exciting. Also, the biggest advice I have is slow down, take a breath and choose your battles. First of all, she is trying to push your buttons and reacting to everything just gives her what she wants. If you constantly hound her, she'll feel like she is boxed in no matter what she does. So let things slide and give her that freedom. Focus on the good things and cute things she does, eventually you won't be so irritated by the bad things. Reward and spoil her when she behaves and eventually it will bring you two closer!