i have 4 children 9 months old girl,5 year old girl,8 year old boy and a 9 year old girl i am a single mum and am strugling to control my childrens behavior.my 9 year old and 8 year old fight all the time and never do as i say . they scream and shout at me when i tell them of they shout they hate me and throw things around. i have tried taking things of them,naughty step, treats for being good everything but nothing is working .i am finding it so hard to cope with there behavior its hard enough being a single mum but this is making it harder especially on my 5 year old who is very good and in a way gets pushed out because the others take up so much time any advise would be great thank you carla

Sounds like your having a really hard time.... You're trying the righrt things.... but maybe you're not trying them for long enough. Children will kick against newly imposed discipline.... maybe try it for longer.
Have you got extended family or friends who maybe could take 1 or 2 of your children for a couple of hours, so you can spend time with the others, in a less stressful environment.
TRy not to let their difficult behaviour get to you. If you react to them saying they hate you, they will fo it more to get a reaction. It doesn't really matter if in that moment they hate you.... you love them and that's enough!!!
Try to praise any good behaviour you see and try to ignore bad.
Good luck.....

Hi
Being a single mum is very tough, I was a single mum to 3 children under 3 yrs old. I my eldest was 3 and was a nightmare to control, I found out that her behaviour was because she was scared of me leaving, her way of keeping me at home was to hit out and be horrid!!
How long have you been single mum and do the children see there father?
You must not respond to there bad behaviour just ignore it and praise/reward the good behaviour.

hi ang thanks for the message bac my children c there dad every other weekend but he doesnt help the matter . he is forever putting me down and does things the total opposite to me . i have been single for 2 years now and things r just getting worse .

It sounds to me that its the fathers fault why your children are behaving in this way, he must treat you with respect!! not the way he is at the moment because the children are picking up on this and think this sort of behaviour is acceptable.
You need to either talk to your Ex alone with no children or if that doesn't work, you must put a stop to the contact, you are well within your rights to do this as it is affecting your chldren. Your ex must understand he cannot behave in this way, you have both got to put the children first and put the bad feelings to one side and get on for the sake of the children.
I hope this helps you, I do understand how you are feeling I have been through it with my Ex, its not nice and I got very depressed.

i have tried talking to him but it makes no difference he is now in the process of taking me to court for custordy of my children , using my failling to control them amongst other stuff he has come up with . all this going of has made me depressed too just cant seem to do rite from doing wrong with the kid or him . thank u for ur advice i really appreciate it be nice if life went the way we want wouldnt it .

I can't believe your Ex husband!! He has got a major problem.Does he pay maintenance? Have you got a solicitor? I honestly can't see the court siding with him. My ex took me to court back in 2004 because I tried to commit suicide and couldn't cope, but the judge sided with me and actually got me some help.
Keep in touch with me, if you don't mind!

my x doesnt pay anythng as he doesnt work . i have a solicitor and just waiting now for a court date so fingers crossed .he jst makes my hard life evn harder gets very hard to cope sometimes . will keep in touch and keep u updated thnk u for ur time and replys x