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Bossy 4 year old

I need help please. I am having major concerns with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. She is so bossy and over powering towards other children that she is beginning to drive her friends (and mine) away.
I Believe that I am quite firm with her, but at the moment I seem to be telling her off from the minute she gets up til when she goes to bed! I am worried that the situation is damaging my relationship with her. She is not aggressive towards other children, she just bosses them and constantly tells them "your not my best friend" etc.
I also have a 18mth old daughter and they get on most of the time. Someone out there must be able to advise me how to deal with these situations? I am worried that when she starts school she will not have any friends. Please help