I have recently had a baby boy, I am so happy about having a baby boy atlast!
But I am feeling very low and tired as my son is not sleeping much at night and cries alot, sometimes I feel I can't cope.
I daren't tell anybody, even though my husband has said I have it, but he won't talk to me about it, our marriage is failing at the moment because of me. I am feeling really ashamed and feel I have failed my children and my husband for feeling like this.
Please can anybody give me some advice or help.

Hi Ang and congratulations.

PND isn't a failure, its an illness that can strike any woman, please don't look upon it as failing in any way. Everything you are feeling is something hundreds of other women have felt and nothing to feel ashamed about.

Perhaps your hubby is just unsure what to do to help you, its one of those illnesses that unless you've had it yourself its very difficult to understand.

Go to your doctor and speak to your HV ASAP, they can both offer you support and if nessacary medication to help you recover from this. Doctors are much more aware of PND these days and even do a test for it at your 6 week check now. No-one has to know you went if you don't feel comfortable with that, you could have been there for any number of reasons, but try to tell people so they can support you. Its the first and hardest step to take but unless they know there is nothing they can do to help you through this and there help can make a big difference in how long it takes you to get well again.

Come back and let us know how you get on.

Thankyou, I have my 6 wk check next week. But Iam still not sure how to talk to my husband.

Hello there

My daughter cried constantly and I became very down and depressed I didn't tell anyone and so of course it got worse. My husband is a lovely bloke but he struggles to deal with any emotional issues, and I never told him, I was embarrassed but I think he knew but he just thought well if you aren't going to tell me how you feel I'm certainly not going to open the floodgates. You will end up hating him if you don't tell him as you will start feeling even worse knowing that your husband knows you are miserable and he isn't confronting it or being sympathetic towards you.
Tell him exactly how you feel and if he cares about you he will be there, don't be ashamed and don't blame yourself, if you broke your arm or your leg or if you had some horrible disease people would talk about it and help you!!!
Do you have friends and family to help, I was a martyr and never let anyone help, god I wish I did, even just to catch up on my sleep.

God luck I know how you feel my Husband would rather bury his head in the sand than talk though anything that wasn't to do with work or money, he loves me dearly though, just not very good at showing his feelings.

Hi

I also had PND after my first child, couldn't stop crying didn't like the baby at all, got tested got treatment and all was well. Don't feel ashamed it is caused by a chemical imblance in your body, all the goodness went into the baby and placenta and has to be replaced.

I used to snooze when the baby did - left the housework, hubby had to fend for himself a bit! I was running a pub so had to deal with that as well - it does go away - but get help!