many thanks Ellie!! A meeting in a public place sounds a great idea as I can't get anyone to sit down and discuss things at home.

My son and partner do spend every Monday night doing different things together already and they enjoy this time..its just when they get home and my daughter is on the scene that the competion and bickering begins which is so annoying!!

I also have a 10 month old daughter who is so demanding that I have little time to spend with the other two. My son sees his own father twice a week and goes on special trips with him to football matches and holidays, so he doesnt miss out on paternal contact.

I understand that my partner will have different feelings for his own children but I am mother to all three and find it hard not to jump to defence.

I feel as if I am stepping on eggshells at the moment as my partner has suggested seperating as the stress is too much!!!

Having read that do you know what springs to mind...that this could be sibling rivalry and your son has worked out he can manipulate the adults and get them feeling stressed and guilty about it.