my fiance has 11 yr old twins a boy and girl and I have 2 teen boys.I havent babied my boys since the were babies.He will turn the lights off for them at bed time instead of teaching them to not be afraid of the dark,for example,am I WRONG TO FEEL THIS WAY

Everyone is different and every child is different. It is hard to make a reasoned reply when we know very little information. My 9 year old falls asleep with the light on. My older children don't and never have done. They are different children.... I certainly don't baby my children (they sometimes think I'm very unsympathetic.....my children have been sick in the night and haven't woken me up!!!!!).
Yes, you shouldn't baby older children... but treat them as the age they are.... but I can't judge other parents for simple things like turning lights off etc.
On Monday my 9 year old will go off on a residential 2 night school trip. Some of her peers don't go. Many of the parents cry when their children leave.... I know I won't. My daughter went of a 4 night residential when she was 6 without me....but I turn her light off! It doesn't mean the other parents are babying their children either. We are just different and our children are different.
If this is the only way your fiance 'babies' the children, it isn't a big issue.

That was only one example.His son whines when there are veggies in the meals I cook,[both the children are overwieght}and im TRYING to get everyone to eat healthier.My fiance is diebetic,he knoows its impotant,yet when his son whines he gets his way. thanks for all replies