We are at a loss as to know what we should do about our 11 year old's tantrums. She seems to be pushing all the boundaries and i've run out of patience with her, recently when she couldn't get her own way she humiliated me in front of my family and the nastiness of her remarks reduced me to tears in front of my sister and brother. She used to be so good, her teachers all praise her but since i have been diagnosed with ms a few months ago she seems to have turned against me and i haven't got the strength to cope with it anymore. Once she has insulted me she seems to forget it soon after and doesnt seem to realise how hurtful she is being. I have made her write letters of apology to my sister brother (it was the first time they'd seen her behave like this and they were shocked)and she regularly gets bans on watching tv going to cinema etc but it just doesn't get any better. Any suggestions? She is the eldest of 3 lovely otherwise happy children. My husband is also having difficulty with her but not to the same extent (he is more consistent with the children than i am). Any suggestions would be appreciated.

This must be hard. I just saw a video on Youtube.com that may help you see that trying to stop your daughter
from her way to treating you is not going to help. She has a deep emotional reason (not consciously) that has to be addresses. She is crying for help in a way of which she has no control. Your sickness maybe scaring her. She fears losing you and then her behavior gets frustrated response which hurts even more.

Here is the link to the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JooO_c3tBs4

Thanks, i will have a look at it. Your response makes sense to me as she is usually so good. I think that maybe counselling might help too.
This is the first time i have ever consulted a forum and it helps me take the next step forward and seek professional advice. Thanks again.