I do know two parents who have done this. I have never done it myself. With one it was successful. With the other it wasn't. The parents believed their daughter who twisted it and said it was someone else etc.
The problem is most parents will want to believe their children and most of us, including children, when confronted with some thing we have done, will justify our behaviour, defend what happened and will put a different slant on it. It's natural. Some of us , if we were told our child was bullying may well not be able to believe it.
While your child is at school, the teachers are in loco parentis... in other words, they have to take the place of parents. Schools have to have anti-bullying policies.
If you have been in to the teacher 3 times already, I would suggest going to the head. In advance, request a copy of the anti-bullying policy and read it.
The school HAS TO follow it.
I suggest you begin to write everything down inj a sort of diary... as each little thing can seem pathetic... you need to present a full picture... "On this day, my daughter came home and said...." "On this day, i spoke to the teacher... and this happened."
Schools are supposed to be equipped to deal with bullying.
Look at the policy. See what should happen... demand it happens. If the school is not keeping the policy, you will have to follow the complaints procedure (which will involve appealing to the Governors etc). Ask for that if you have to.
If you don't feel comfortable going to the Head on your own... take afriend with you. At the end of the meeting, clarify what the school has agreed to do to sort the situation... Write it down... ask a timescale.... and chase it up. Maybe organise another meeting to discuss it in the future.
Don't let it lie....It is the school's responsibility to make school a safe environment for all pupils. It maybe your daughter could have some assertiveness training at school. It maybe "circle time" needs to be dedicated to bullying etc.
Please go back to school and make the school sort it out. Hopefully they will be able to find out who is the ring leader and help them to learn better ways of expressing themselves.
Good luck.
At the school gates... search out other friends to stand near.
My daughter has been bullied and my son is being bullied atm. I've never approached the parents, in both cases the child responsible had the kind of parents who didn't know they exsisted and bullies are often victims at home themselves and those children don't really have the kind of parents capable of taking responsibility for their childs behaviour.
The gossip will pass, hold your head up high and don't let this mother bother you. Teach your daughter to do the same with the bully and speak to the head teacher again and again until they take it seriously, keep a diary as nicky suggests but go in after every incident, daily if neccassary and don't give up until they take action.
