Hi
I need help. I have 2 daughters aged 13 and 10. They are good girls. Normal back chat and everything but they work hard at school.My 13 year old really is bordering on rude constantly now though. I have just had a fight with my 13 year old. I told her that something she did was rubbish and this upset her. I have always believed that you should tell them when they do something good and when they dont but I think I am going too far now. I am finding it hard not to go into the competitive parent thing. I just like them to do their best.I always congratulate them when they do well.Should I have not told her and said better luck next time ?
well, im a great believer in being honest, but im not sure it was a good idea to tell her something she did was rubbish.
no wonder she is upset!
maybe better to say something like... i think you can do better than that, give it another go.
if your 13 year old is constantly bordering on rude then its prob down to one thing...puberty.
dont worry she will grow out of it, butyou need to make it clear that her actions have consequences. ie punish her when she steps out of line.
i dnt knwo what this competetive parenting is.
when i say punish i mean punish, ie. round her, send her to her room, take away something she likes a lot.
and i mean actually do it, dont just threaten to.
if you make threats and then dont follow them up with actions you are teaching ur kids that they can do whatever they like cos although you you will do xyz, you never actually do it.
if you have told her that the thing she did was rubbish as a kind of punishment for her rude behaviour (i hope this isnt the case, but you can never be sure) then you cant really blame her for being rude to you cos she is learning from you that being rude is ok.
also will mean she is more likely to be more rude because you are making her feel bad about herself.
