This must be very distressing for you. It is really outside of my experience, so what I'm saying is just my own gut instinct about the situation. First, I admire you very much for taking on someone else's child - it can't be easy. But it must be hard for him too. He's only 4 1/2 and he's gone through enormous changes in his life. You don't say how long this has been going on, but could it be that the behaviour coincided with some upheaval? Or is his growing understanding of the situation he is in - with two moms - at the root of his behaviour? Does he seem angry? Don't think of him as a criminal - he's a small child. His behaviour sounds very trying and difficult, but I'm sure you can help him. Is there anyone you can turn to for advice and support? I wish you the very best of luck.
Hi Nikki, don't give up on your step son, he is only 4 and has not yet learned right from wrong.
Try to encourage him to ask first if there is something he wants instead of just taking it. Then back this up by putting child locks or bolts high up (so he can't reach) on the doors of the rooms you don't want him to go into, and use child proof locks on the kitchen cabinets and the fridge doors. It won't be long before he will give up trying to take things and will have to ask first.
