hi i'm just looking for other peoples opinions, i have a 20mth old baby boy (Ben). his dad and myself have split up a good few months ago, his dad is from Aberdeen and I'm from Ayr 200+miles apart, he comes to see Ben every second weekend, for a night in a hotel, when he leaves on a Sunday morning Ben is very distresses and screams for an hour at least, is this worth the upset for my son or should i force the issue of him to get a place down here near his son. hes 24, lives in a room at his mothers and could easily get a job down here, but he keeps saying that I'm pressuring him, how can you pressure someone to spend more time with there son???
is he just a silly wee boy still needing his mummy and i should let it go??? but i feel (not that i grudge haveing a baby as i wouldnt change that for the world) he has all the freedom and money as he doesnt have to give up work or his social life.
i dont have anyone to babysit so my life is a 24hour mum.
someone please give me there opinion x

I keep telling myself that I will stop leaving messages and then I read one more issue and feel like I just HAVE to respond. I definitely sympathize as a divorced (now remarried) mom myself. I am so sorry because it is just physically and mentally exhausting to be caring for a child alone. I hope you can find some support somewhere...somehow- Whether you connect with the MOMS organization around you (check the Internet- it's worth getting involved) or can find a some other church support group for new mothers...or check with the hospital because they often have support groups for mothers...then you can get to know other mothers in a safe environment and your children can learn to socialize... and possibly develop a trade-off childcare solution. Alot of times other mothers just want their children to have the exposure and interaction with their little peers. ANYWAY- you are NOT alone- I think we have all been there. The novelty of having the dad over the everyday mom seems to always win- and it's only the beginning- I hate to tell you. It's really something your child needs to get used to. And the baby will. I don't blame you for any bitterness you feel over the distance the father lives away from you but also know there's little you can do about it. Rather than insist the father play a more active role and risk creating more hostility your child will ultimately be exposed to and feel the reprecussion from, increase your resources. Begin with those support groups and start to seek out and accept the assistance from friends. It's really the best advice I can give.