My niece is 3 years old, and everytime that she went to Grandma and Grandpas house, she would scream and cry because she wanted to stay with her Grandmother--and her parents -and her grandmother felt bad--so the gave my niece her way---Well-Now my mom-(her grandmother) is going through Menopause and she needs her rest--and my niece is a handful for her--how can we break my niece away from her grandmother in a way in which she will not cry-leaving her Grandmother feeling bad,for sending her home?

I went through the same situation with my son. It was a full out war to get him to come home. So, I sat him down one day, (without his grandparents there), and told him that he had to act like a big boy, and if he was told no about staying the night, he was to say, ok, grandma, see you tomorrow, and leave quietly. I explained to him that he lived with Mommy and Daddy, and that Grandma & Papa's house was for visiting, but that they didn't want him to come over anymore if he was going to throw a tantrum when it was time to go home. Follow through is key with this though. We had to several times, when he started whining or worse when it was time to go, carry him out and physically put him in the car, and leave. Once, he cried all the way home, and we just kept telling him that all he had to do was be a big boy, and if he was big boy everytime he was told no, that one day Grandma would say, Yes, Nathan, you can come to my house, and stay. Now, when he's told no, he says his little line, and then looks at me and says, Is that a big boy, Mommy?
It worked fairly well. Just be strong the first few times she forgets to be a big girl, and leave. Don't give in, or it'll never work.