Thankyou for your replies.
I gave up my career to care for my three children and have always done everything for them (too much so my brother says) I suppose that is where I went wrong. My daughter is immature for her age as is her b/f, in my opinion. We are moving in a few weeks and she has said that she will only come if we convert the garage into an annexe for her!
I hope that she does come back and go back to college with our support, but with the temper she has I can't see it happening. This isn't the first time she has left either, she said then that she was treated differently to the other two children and that we are all boring and everything we do is cr*p but I persuaded her to come home.
If she goes back to college then she will go back to p/t hours so will not pay keep, but I expect her to have some manners and give us her parents some respect. Surely that's not too much to ask is it?