I have two boys, a 3 year old and a 2mth old. Lately, my temper has been getting the best of me. I love my kids more than life itself, but I just don't have any patience for my 3yo. I get so mad when he doesn't listen to me. Its the worst when its naptime or bedtime. Instead of making him nap, I have "quiet time" where he can just lay quietly and watch a movie, but sometimes he just won't do it and wonders around and plays with toys or has to pee or wants a drink and so on and so on.. I can feel my blood boiling and I just really feel like I'm going to lose it if I don't slam or throw something. I hate to be like this! I don't want my sons to see this behavior for fear they will think I don't love them or that they will turn out to be like me. I can't just "walk away and count to ten" because he follows me screaming which makes me even more annoyed. I just don't know what to do. This makes me really sad. I really really want to be a good mom more then anything else in this life. What can I do to not be a mean mommy and have more patience??

Hi, Firstly you are not a mean mommy. What you need to do is to try and ignore tantrums from the child and when repremanding them for being naughty, do it casually and without making eye contact.
When they have done something good, no matter how small, let them know that you are pleased by saying good boy, well done or whatever.
By doing these things, you will teach them that mommy doesn't give in to us when we scream and shout and cry, but she is nice to us when we are good.

I have seen how well this works and if you stick at it, (it is hard but you can do it) it really works well. In the instance that I have seen, by doing this the childs behaviour has almost taken a 180 degrees turn in little over 2 weeks. Good luck.

First of all you are a normal mommy....we all get mean sometimes. Not that we want to be that way, we are only human.

The last post was great advice...and kids respond so well to positive encouragement and praise. However they are always going to misbehave and act up at some time or another (they are kids and that’s there job )
I have a ten year old and I am just making the connection with my behavior and hers....when I’m mean and yelling and fussing, and frowning, it became the norm and she didn’t think twice about doing it too...( I have even thrown things in the mist of my tantrums ..Im not proud of that behavior and I work daily to change it....I found out that my daughter was afraid of my reaction to things ....Now that I have mellowed out (I purposely think about it when ever I react) she has mellowed out as well.
Another hint would be to not take your children’s misbehavior personal...they aren’t doing it "to us"...they are just doing it. And we just happen to be there to witness and feel like the recipients all the time....no kid likes being miserable or unhappy, it’s up to us to teach them that those feeling come to pass and they don’t need to ruin any ones day!

Both the previous posts were awesome advice. I have a four year old, who, if he doesn't get his way at times, goes into a spiral, screaming, yelling, kicking, once even throwing his toys. I take him firmly, to his room, set him on his bed,and tell him that I don't want to talk to someone who is screaming at me, and when he calms down, I'll talk to him. Also, we have to establish that we're the boss, not the friend. I wouldn't encourage screaming and throwing things, but firm voices also help get the point across. I have a four year old, with two year old twins, and trust me, I feel like screaming most the time. When it gets very bad, I tell my son that Mommy needs some time to herself right now, and could he please find something quiet to do, ie, read a book, coloring, etc. Sometimes it even helps if you physically sit down with your child, and read with him. It encourages loving feelings, and helps the child to understand that you still love him, and aren't pushing him away.