The day after my step daughter died he clled an left a threatening phone message calling my wife words that begin with B,W, and C.

Oddly enough I feel I'm looked at as the bad guy. We now are stuggling to pay hospital bills and for a funeral that he, and his family, have contributed nothing to. On top of that we now will have to get a lawyer to fight for assistance for medical from both deadbeat dads. This while paying for a house we baught to better the lives of the children.

Well I guess all I did was rant a bit. What yall think?

I would advise you to gather any and all documentation you may have of his past history;criminal, child support, etc. Make your case. With all of these expenses, you can beat the system by having all of this prepared to hand over to an attorney (copies - keep your originals). Anything you can give him will save money and time.

Does this child have a relationship with the BF? If anything - because of the history - seek supervised visitation.

Good luck

Hiya Finn

I read your post and I sympathise with you I really do, and I know exactly where you are coming from. Im a step Dad.

This is a "****ed if you do, and ****ed if you dont" scenario. Well done you for putting the kids on your insurance, as least you are looking after the kids best interests.

We are always going to be the bad guy, irrespective that we are doing out best to look after the kids that arent ours. The Biological father with have the "whats mine is staying mine" as they see see "their" kids as a testament to their manliness, ergo seeing the kids as nothing more that "trophies".

Stand by your guns, my friend, keep the kids away from this freak. You are in their lives now, you are married to their mother, you are in charge.

So the freak calls you and swears over the phone. Find some way of recording them, take it to the police and do him for harassment, dont let him scare you your wife or the kids, as for what he has dont her should be locked up permanently.

Dont let being looked on as the bad guy scare you as I can asure you every stepfather at one time or another is instatly branded the bad guy. They could be a Saint, but the bad guy title is always put on them.

Stand your ground, see this bounder off

I totally understand where you are comming from Finn.
how old are the children? Are they old enogh to decide for themselves if they want to visit more often with the bf/dad?

I am not going to suggest that you keep the kids away from him because that has its way of biting you in the end, but I would really look into supervised visitations. I cant imagine a court giving a man like that any thing more. If he suddenly wants to be super daddy, I would make sure the court makes him pay the mdical bills for his children,as well as every day cost.

tHANKS FOR THE REPLIES. All of you. We'll fight.