First of all, I am sorry to hear about your wife passing. My brother lost is wife to cancer when his children were very young. My nephew was only six weeks old when she learned she had cancer. My niece was about 18 months old. When she passed away, it was about 7 months later. My brother remarried a wonderful lady five years after his wife had passed. I know there was an adjustment period before they began to call her 'mom'.
I am a step mom to my husband's 12 year old who was 4 when we got married. She always called me by my first name, until I think she realized that I was not going anywhere and felt comfortable doing so. I would say she started calling me mom in her own time. I did have a little chat with her but I clearly stated that I felt she needed to do that in her own time. I wanted her to know that I was marrying her dad but not taking the place of her mom. I told her that she could call me Amy for as long as she needed to.
My suggestion is now that you have suggested it to the children that you would like them to call your wife mom, let them have time to process and they will in their own time begin to call her mom.
Thank you. It's not just difficult for the kids but difficult for other family members as well. It does make their stepmom feel uneasy but hopefully in due time it will work out. The last few years have been extremely trying!
So sorry for your loss...The children will come around in their own time..Do the best you can to not pressure them into calling her Mom....In time they will come to relize that she is not taking their mothers place and that you do not want them to forget their mother, they will come to terms with the loss and then except your new wife as their mom.........but it will take quite abit of time....my best to you and your family.Time heals all things.
