I am posting this message out of shere desperation and hope that someone can advise me on what I should do.

We have a 4 month old son who means the world to me. The smiles he gives me at times makes all my troubles disappear, yet I cannot seem to calm him down when he goes into a tantrum. His screams increase in pitch, his cries go right though me and I have no choice but to put him down and walk away after about five minutes (if I am lucky)as I cannot take any more, which is not fair on my wife.

He only does this to me, I am sure of it and it is killing my confidence of myself as a first time parent. I am convinced that I am doing something wrong even though I try to be calm, soothing and go through all aspects of what could be wrong. My wife picks him up and he calms down almost immediately.

When he is like this, I feel that I want nothing more to do with him and spend about five to ten minutes afterwards calming myself down and trying to relive the latest tantrum to see what I did wrong. I am running out of ideas.

Can anyone offer any advice P L E A S E !!!

I am not an expert, but I think that sometimes the only thing to do is walk away. You may not be aware of your son doing this to other people. He is four months old and I am sure that you are a terrific father. I think at that young age babies respond to their mothers, the mother is like the comfort zone. I know my daughter took a little while to "warm up" to her dad. Also is your son nursing? Nursing provides a special closeness between mother and child.

Don't lose confidence in yourself. I am sure that you are a great father and sometimes your wife may just need to calm him. Keep being involved and trying different things to see him through his tantrums, but if you need to hand him to your wife, don't take it too personally. Four months old is really little.

Amy

Well as amy said if your wife is nursing the baby will be more comfortable with her.
With my son he was the same way, I nursed him so he felt very close to me. I was given this adive and it work for my son's father,when it is nap time after he has been fead take your shirt off and his off and try to rock him to sleep.when you are skin to skin it make them feel very safe and secure, so atleast try that.

Shaina