Well, it doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong because by all other standards (and I use that term very loosely) your kids are doing great. It's obvious that they do not see the benefit of doing house work so they don't. Punishment never works to get a child to do ANYTHING long term. As soon as they can figure out how to do what they want without getting in trouble they will - so figure out how to inspire them to helping out around the house. People put a huge emphasis on this chore thing - and yes I have kids - but I'm all for cleaning up after yourself. If you make a mess clean it up. They are not going to spend their summer days cleaning the house - even though the chores are probably minimal - they just don't want to - don't you remember that feeling when you were a kid? If it were me, I would focus on what I love about them - cuz you have a lot to be grateful for and take the focus off the chores. Amazingly I have found that if I compliment and sincerely mean what I am saying about things that I love about my son to my son - he eventually (may take a week or two) wants to help out all the time.
Give them a break and you too...so what if everything isn't **** n span for a week or so - you have great kids and that's worth so much more!!!
I agree with the last post, you're doing something right because your kids sound good to me.
You might need more help around the house because you've gone back to work. Let them know that. Try doing things together. I found that to work really well with my sons. They had less time with me and it gave us time together. Often working alone isn't much fun but as a group it isn't that bad.
We set aside a time when we did a major clean up wildly going around dusting, mopping & vacuming. Then we could all go do something fun.
Ask them if they'd be willing to do that, working together. Or ask them if there is something they don't mind doing- my one son mops. He does that on his own time- sometimes it's nine at night- not my choice of scheduling- he'll only do it if we have pinesol- so I keep that in big supply.
My boys willingly did chores at two- wanted to help. Kept that up until middle school when they couldn't be bothered. Socializing became so much more important then.
That worked too. If they were planning to have friends over, I helped them clean up. Shoe on the other foot. I'm helping them. They use the tv room and room with the pool table and the bathroom. We clean those up before they have guests.
I have the same problem with my 10 yr old daughter.. She is not a bad kid but she's very lazy and I don't know how to motivate her. I've asked her what she wants to help with but she does not want to do anything.. and when I let her know how I feel, she tells me that I "hurt her feelings by calling her lazy".. yet she still does not help..
