I need help. I am a divored mother of two teens. One 16 year old boy and one 14 to be year old girl. My problem is...my daughter has been totally our of hand. She's always had a problem of talking back and not respecting, even when her father and I were married. This past week she got into a fight with her brother, she was instigating. Well in the process, I reprimanded her and she told me to "get out or her face". She has disrespected continously and I am just tired. She's gone as far as telling me she hates me, she wants to move with her dad, etc...she does the same exact thing to her father when she is with him.

Several years ago the school guidance counselor evaluated her along with the school phycologist and they both agreed that she was just spoiled and I had to learn that not everything was "her way".

Well my dilema is...her birthday is on Friday, and I have decided not to celebrate it or give her anything. Her father had her this weekend, so I told him to go ahead and celebrate with her, but that I was not.

I am hurt by her behavior and I just don't find it in my heart to do anything for her. She has to learn that a "sorry" is not going to make things better and that her behavior, led to these consequences.

I give these kids everything, within my means. Yet, I find that it is not appreciated.

Help in Virginia Beach.

Evy

I like your plan. When she says, " MOM?? My birthday is today and you haven't said anything about it. Do you even care? "

Reply with, " Oh yes honey, happy birthday! " And let that be the end of it. I used to be the same way. *wink*

And if she goes off into her room and pouts, remind her about all of those poor children in other countries who have never celebrated their birthday. Let her realize that you brought her into this world, and you can take her right back out. Without you she would not have it so good, even with another parent by her side.

Good luck!
Kaitlin