I am having a hard time deciding if it is a good idea to have my son, Jason, move back in with me. Life hasn’t been a walk down easy street for either of us. Jason is 20 years old. He is working full time and paying his own rent. But he lives with roommates in a bad neighborhood and it’s very far from where he works.

I also need to find an apartment for myself because the building I live in is being renovated and everyone in the building has to move.

Jason is a good kid but hasn’t shown me much love and has caused me a lot of grief. Has been in trouble and basically locked up since he was 14 doing stupid stuff and the system only contributed to the problem. I have been heartbroken and I tried everything I could think of to make things better. When he was 18 he was released and soon after he stayed with me in my one bedroom apartment. He slept in the living room. He didn’t have his own space but didn’t complain about it. I kicked him out twice because of he did not respect my rules and got in my face the last time.

I am just confused because he I love him more than anything in the world. He is doing pretty good right now and maybe having to take care of himself is helping him more than it would to continue on his own as opposed to us moving into a two bedroom apartment together.

We haven’t had a chance to be a family. I want to help him but I am not sure that it would be helping him. I also want to be happy and not have to feel the way he makes me feel. But, maybe what we need is to be with each other. Oh I don’t know. I don’t even know how to explain it. There is so much that has happened in our history that I doubt I am conveying what I mean.

Do you have any advice?

I think letting him move back home might be a bit too much. Let him know you're there to help him if he really needs it, but he needs to be an adult and manage his life, not move back home with mom.