Hi there

When we have kids, we have our own set of standards. We know how we want our kids to turn out, and what we want to teach them. Sadly, we can often start to doubt ourselves, especially when other parents seem very lenient, even negligent. I often feel like I am on the losing team when it comes to morals, standards, and, most often, good manners.

However, we should never be ashamed to stand firm, and let our kids know that they are the lucky ones, having parents who actually give a ****. I often have to remind my eldest son that, yes, Harry IS allowed to swear, and play zombie killer games on his XBox, and come in when he likes at aged 10, but thats because his parents dont care as much as we do. I dont give a monkeys if this sounds judgemental. I believe in what I am saying. If Harry's (my sons best mate) parents let him swear and play violent 18 rated games, then I believe that they honestly dont care, or are too busy/stressed/whatever to care. And I'm happy to make my son feel like he is the lucky one out of the two of them.

My advice would be, believe in what you are teaching her. Tell her you believe in it. At 8, she is old enough to realise that other kids parents might actually be wrong to be so lenient, and that their kids might grow up to be less considerate/moral/well mannered than your daughter.

If you really feel her friends are a bad influence, I would seriously limit the contact. I think kids need their mates, but I always tell my lad, if you're going to start talking like Harry/James etc etc then you will have to stop playing with them.....I want him to feel like he can be their mate while still rising above that kind of behaviour.

Anyway, big fat ramble there, sorry, i got type-happy!!!

Hope this helps a bit, maybe. Its not very coherent, but i have insomnia and my mind is jumbled. I might make more sense tomorrow!!

Best wishes

Liz xxx

Quite right Liz.

I got censored there, sorry, I didnt say a really bad word, I said Dam*....apologies

I just say "We don't say that in this family. I don't want to hear you say it again."
About other families in general :- "Fred might be able to watch that film.... but you can't because you are 10 and that film is a 15.... and it's been given that certificate because it's not suitable for your age. It's too violent and you wouldn't enjoy it."
As a parent, all you can do is set your won standards and stick to them. You will find that some perfectly decent families place their rules in different places to yours... that's fine, you just have to stick to your rules and whats important to you. My children go to bed later than many of their peers (none of them need loads of sleep), but I don't allow them to use bad language. My children have to learn to deal with that.
Good luck and stick to your guns.