As far as punishment goes, this is what finally worked for us. First of all we used "time out" (our kids are 13,13,&14 & we still use it). We find a place of our choice and make them sit, don't argue with them (walk away if you can't help it), this gives everyone time to cool down. The other thing we did that worked the best was punishment only for a day at a time. I'll tell ya this was easier for me to follow through with. Discuss with your child what behavior is not allowed and what wil happen if you see that behavior. Then when that behavior happens Take away something for that day only. The next day your child will start out fresh. Again any misbehavior gets something taken away for that day. This way they see an end to the punishment. For us we used tv, video games, and playing with friends. When it got really bad we added on Sports practise. When my step son was mouthy, bad in school, disrespectful, or didn't do/have his homework he lost all those privlages. If it continued he missed sports practise that day. He could watch tv, but only if and what someone else watched. And he could play out side or with his toys, but it had to be alone (no friends). Now he is mostly good, and when he's not he says "I know I can't play my games".