Oh yeah... and I have struggled in a similar way with my 12 year old and homework... we now have a rule... nothing electronic goes on until all homework and music practice is done.... so no msn, computer, tv etc. She now gets on with her work really quickly and I'm not on at her all the time. Before... she said she'd do it when she wanted to do it... and that usually meant when she was tired etc. The new, simple, easy to enforce rule has really helped!!!

Ummm Nicki...Maybe I should tell her when all her homework is done and I have checked her assignment sheet then she can play with her Nintendo. Just let that be the rule and not discuss it. It's never a matter of when she has homework because she has it everyday. I'm afraid I have nagged her so much that she just won't do it without the nagging. You see I told her last week I was finished with nagging and telling her what to do all the time because she was plenty old enough to bathe, brush teeth ect. So needless to say she hasn't bathed since last week. Oh now what?

I reckon "No Nintendo " would work really well. The "Nothing Electronic" rule in my house was thought up by my 12 yo as a way to motivate her... and a way to stop us falling out!!!! She just did her hw every night at bed time. Now... she tries to get on msn etc... but it's easy to say "Oiii... nothing electronic until you've done your hw". We've been doing that since Christmas... and her grades last report were better!!! So it must be working. Also... all 3 of the kids are on the same rule!!
Good luck. I find it hard to let my children fail or even to get in a pickle .... but I think maybe it's be better for them if I didn't always battle with them over everything!!!
Btw.... I know I couldn't educate 2 of my kids at home... they don't particularly want to work... if I had to teach them....practicalities aside .... we could just argue even more... as I'm sure they'd know better than me all the time (even though I'm a teacher... I'd much prefer to teach othe people's kids!!!!!) I want to enjoy being a parent... not a teacher to my kids (or a policeman).... so don't worry, i'm not about to off into the forest.

Here is what we did. In our situation my step son wasn't doing his school work, was getting sent out of class more than he was in, he was mouthy, and disrespectful. Our counselor suggested that grounding him for long periods was making him not care because he couln't see and end. So he suggested we have a daily punishment method. We picked a few things he liked to do daily (watch tv, video games, & play with friends outside). Each and every day he woke up he had all of his prilages. If he was mouthy, disrespectful, sent out of class, or didn't do his homework he lost those privlages for that day. We had the teacher write us a small note or email as to how each day went. That way each evening we knew. He was not allowed to slip even a little without paying the price. He knew the next day was a new day and he had a fresh chance to do the right thing. He is very impulsive, but eventually it worked. The stress was much less too.