thanks for the advice, but I had a word with his teacher yesterday who told me that he's absolutly fine once I've gone and I also help out 2 afternoons a week!...so I think I'll persevere with school and keep making him wear his collared polo shirt.
yesterday I felt a bit down from all the stress it was causing but today I feel more confident, I was working with mums with older kids yesterday and their advice was great..telling me not to give in to his insecurities as it should pass!!
As he's an only child I always think I'm not doing things right and end up blaming myself for his worries and quirks.
My Nephew was very much like this as a child, now at 10, he has been diagnosed with OCD. He can't make any decisions on his own. Every time he's in a restaurant he asks his cousin (my son, who he adores) what are you eating? He is extremely attached to his mom. Whenever he sees something bad on the news or hears something from a friend, he immediately starts to worry as if it will happen to him, to the point of staying up the whole night worrying. My sister said she always felt, even when he was 2, that he was "different". IF you really feel in your heart somethings not right, you should take him to a child psychologist. Good luck.
Something I've learned is that it's ok for our kids to be quirky. We can't all be the same!!!! Some kids don't like the feel/ texture of things. I know several children who refuse to wear a fair amount of clothes as they feel wrong.... or where parents have to take labels etc out of clothes. This can be part of Sensory Integration dysfunction.... (look it up on the internet). BTW, fear of buttons is an acknowledged phobia.... my friend has it... and she's a successful music teacher, in her 40's and I never knew until she told me!!!!
Some children worry more than others. My daughter has just gone out with a friend's daughter to pizza hut.... that child worries for England. It's wind and rain that worry her now. It used to be fire (one year she went mad when I lit an advent candle and I had to blow it out!!!!). She is a highly intelligent, popular child, yet her fears sometimes stop her doing things. She is 6. Another friend's daughter (also highly intelligent) is a worrier... she is 12 and often can't sleep because she is worried.
As a parent, the best thing to do is try to keep it in perspective and not worry yourself as children pick up on this. It is fine to worry... just try to help your son keep it in perspective. It's fine to be picky about clothes, and taking the buttons off a polo shirt but making him wear it seems a good compromise. Keep in close contact with his teacher (it's always good to have them on your side and it helps if they understand the issues).
Ask whether he has friends at school. Ask other children around as well and be prepared to help them socialise (initiate play activities etc.....).
My eldest is 12 and in yr 8. She was very quiet at school, yet confident out of school. I worried and worried and only stopped worrying when she told me to get off her case. Then, she gained confidence and is now quite noisy in school (I get comments like "She can be too talkative in class".) She found her own way through and is fine. She is different to me. I am very gregarious and she isn't... but she's great. For several years, I stressed because I wanted her to be like me. She isn't... and that is the fantastic thing. I think our children start school so young. Maybe the system is wrong. My girl just needed time to become confident.
Good luck. You are doing everything right.
thanks so much, you have really set my mind at ease!
my son is also very intelligent but not a show off!so he keeps it to himself..I was doing art with them at school the other day and when the teacher asked a question ( that I knew he knew the answer to) he kept his arm down..I don't push him or he goes the other way.
further to your advice, his father and I are quite out-going and like doing crazy things but Joe is very reserved and 'the sensible' one in our family..which we do find amusing (and he does)and whereas we are practical and creative (I'm an artist, his dad has his own joinery business) we think he's going to academic I always call him doctor wills!!( which he loves)
Joe's class has 12 in it so its very easy to get feedback and keep in close contact to the teacher (especially as I volunteer to help)
thanks again for the reassurance!!
