having tried to encourage table manners from little, i am now having problems with my 12 year old son. we do try to eat as a family at least 5 -6 times a week and it is turning into a battlefield. he will eat everything on his plate, but in about 5 minutes flat without stopping - unless he is trying to talk to you with his mouth full. so every meal time is reminders to ask for things to be passed, not to eat with his mouth full, use his knife properly to cut things up etc, i have tried reminding him before we sit down so that i am not going on at him at the table, but nothing is working at all. I also do not shout and just remind him in a normal tone what is expected. it never happens! has anyone any ideas.

Hi

Is this a recent problem? Are there any other problems like this in ther aspects of his life?

I'm just wondering if, considering his age, he is just ravenously hungry! I remember eating like that when I was a teenager, specially at school, until one day some girls were all staring at me in amazement and I felt embarrassed, realising how I had been wolfing my food!! But I was always sooooo hungry!!

Is he anxious to leave the table and get back to what he was doing, (XBox, PS3 etc ) If so perhaps you could make a point of having everyone stay at the table even after they are finished, waiting for the others, perhaps chatting about your day. That way there isnt as much incentive to finish quickly.

Other than that, I can't imagine what else you could do. When we were all little girls, my mother was mortified at our table manners, so she made us a promise that if we could learn to eat nicely, with good manners etc, she would take us to a posh restaurant. And she did. Im not sure how much appeal that would have to a 12 yr old lad though, perhaps some other rewards?

Best wishes

Liz xx

Good manners at the table should be enforced and certainly before you ever take him into a restaurant.
If he won't listen to words try actions.
Once at the table tie a bib or a pinafore around his neck. It doesn't have to be a baby bib, there are many kinds available. Knot it so he cannot remove it. No doubt he will object but say he can have it removed as soon as he learns his manners.