our stories are very similar...although you are much braver then me...

My husband I and got married in 1996. We have 2 kids...but he has let me down big time...(i wrote my story under another posting a few days ago...called dilemma in south of france)

At times I would love to get far away from him. He is not a bad person..just very irresponsible and a bad role model...ie bad language...very quick temper...big drinker....selfish....no job...

he lives off his past...he went to great bording schools in the UK...had a great job in the city of London...inherited some money....and then found me who supported him for 8 years...

My son is very troubled...and dad is his big hero...probably because I have exploded a few times and made it clear that dad has no job...drinks too much and that i can't live with him any more. My son still has hopes....and I have been very bad at making it clear that it is finished...and that life as a family is over. We still do things together...sometimes it is OK...but I think it makes it very confusing for my son.

I think you are doing the right thing by being with your parents...My family is in Holland...and I would love to be closer to them.But my son hardly speaks ducth (dad never learned it and was at times quite negative towards the netherlands) and does not enjoy going to the netherlands. What is so hard is the strong opinions and emotions of a 9 year old...i feel like i have robbed him of a carefree youth.

All I can say is thank god you have put distance between you and your ex....and as he makes more and more friends where he lives...and feels happy and secure, he will probably accept that life with mom is nice..