I am sorry to hear about your little boy. What is positive is that this is unusual....ie he has always enjoyed school up to now.

Can you get your husband to speak to him...or maybe another male role model. I have a 9 year old boy and am seeing more and more that all i can do is give as much security...routine and positive feedback...but that at times you need other people to help..
Does he have good friends at school? Are any other kids acting like this...maybe he is copying someone.

I would try a reward system....I have one now and have told him that if he achieves all the points (including doing his best at school he gets a star and is allowed to watch television and play some pc games) If not...then no tv...and no pc. This has helped a bit...I can tell he does want to achieve a star...Kids do want to be good..

Good luck

lina thanks for the advice we have made up a star chart and are trying this have tried to just stop him doing th things he likes eg playing computer and out with friends that caused tantrums and worse behaviour allthough he is god at school can be a little horror at home we are using the reward system now and hopfully this and the half term break will calm him down now thanks again for the advice will let you know how the star chart goes lou x