Hi Heidi - You mention that he is in his cot, he is a bit young to be in a cot normally they are in a moses basket first, maybe that is why he is not settling , a cot probably seems a large place to a little baby, also have you tried a musical mobile?
Joanne x

Hi there. He was in a moses style at first but didn't settle in that either. My other son was in the cot from day 1 and he seemed to settle ok but this time around things are more difficult. He does have a musical mobile but doesn't seem to like it much! Thanks for the ideas though.

Maybe you will have to cuddle him. I used to put my girls over my shoulder and cuddle them rather than rocking in my arms, you know. I know you don't want him to become dependent but I used to do it and you do have to do it for a while but when they became toddlers they are a bit big to rock then aren't they.
And they don't seem to want to be rocked to sleep at that age, I don't know about other parents because every child is different.
Does he have routine, like a nice bath before bed, lavender bath products help to calm and soothe, like Johnsons talcum powder and bubble bath
Hope this helps
Joanne x

Thanks. I have tried cuddling but he just carries on crying. It doesn't seem to make any difference. This reinforces my opinion that he is crying because he is tired. I have been trying to guide him into a bit of a routine but it is difficult as he is so young and has been quite sleepy so far. We do do a bath before bed and hopefully in time he will learn the cues. Maybe I just need to be patient and let him outgrow this phase! Thanks for your help.

Heidi x

Maybe he has colic? nasty thing that is
Good Luck x

I have wondered about that and have put him on Infacol. He is still too young for gripe water. Seems strange though that he settles immediately when pushed in pram and once asleep will often sleep for several hours. You would think if he was in pain he would be more unsettled generally rather than just when going to sleep. He seems to bring up his wind quite well too and he is not especially sicky.

If I do find a solution I will let you know.

Heidi x

Heidi he's far too young to worry about him picking up bad bedtime habits, if pushing him in the pram works then do that, worry about a better bedtime routine when he's older.If you keep leaving him to cry alone your going to make him feel very insecure...what he should be learning now is that yelling will get mum's attention, especially if you suspect its due to colic, the reward later being that he will be more confident to try new things as he knows that mums on hand for back up if nessacary. Don't compare him to what your first did, all babies are different. He's only been in the world 2 weeks, use what works for him and worry about good bedtime routines in a few months.

Hi Heidi,

Congratulations on having a new baby!

My first child never ever settled well, sleep was always an issue. It sounds so similar to yours. I'm afraid that nothing helped him sleep in his beautiful cot, and it sat there empty for months on end.

I think the main issue here is that he, and you, get your rest. Its way too early to be worrying about him getting dependant on different things. If it works, do it, and enjoy the peace. I remember my husband and I trying all kinds of bizarre tactics, and we never did sort out exactly what it was that stopped him settling. He spent most of the time in his first 6 months sleeping in his car seat, he seemed to be better slightly propped up.

He slept better in the car, or in the pram. We had one of those 3 in one prams that you could tilt slightly, my son just couldnt settle when laid flat. He also slept when propped up on hubbys chest. He would stay up late watching movies and playing playstation, with Jake propped up on his chest, so I could get some sleep.

Jake had colic, and he did not respond to anything, not gripe water, infacol, nothing. It was a hard time, just something we had to ride out. Soft massage definately gave some relief, but nothing actually cured it, just time.

Anyway, all that waffle just amounts to me saying, do what works, these early weeks are a fluid situation, and I think you're better off grabbing any chance for the baby to sleep, and to recouperate yourself.

Just a little aside, my husband had a method to get my son to sleep in the afternoon, and one time he had to go out, I took Jake up to settle him, and found a sheet of paper on his bedm with Jakes sleep recipe on! My husband had written, "rock for 5 mins, boing (bounce) for 3 mins, then rock for 2 more mins, " and on and on! Just an illustration of the lengths we went to!

Good luck,

Liz xx

Thanks Liz. Yes I guess it probably is just a question of time. It is hard to get things in perspective in the early weeks. At least I know others have come out the other side and still have a sense of humour! Thanks again. Heidi x

I found that swaddling each of my babies did the trick for me. Think they liked the feel of being all snuggled up and reminded them of being in the womb. I found that not swaddling ensured that should they move their arms and legs whilst asleep it woke them up.
You might find a dummy useful as young babies find it comforting to suckle. My second baby now 3 mths old will use a dummy to help him settle during the day but most nights he doesn't bother. Would prefer to watch his music aquarium that is attached to the side of his cot.
Whilst I was getting my eldest ready for bed I had to leave my baby to cry whilst in his cot. When I finished with my eldest, by the time I went to my baby he'd fallen asleep! So we accidentally sleeped trained him! (about 4 weeks old). However in these early weeks I think he's too young to learn cause and effect and I used to hold mine in my arms till he was half asleep and then gently lay him down. Most often as his back touched the mattress his eyes would open wide and he'd fidget and so I repeated the whole process again. Actually I still do this often as I find it the easiest way to keep him calm.
I find that my baby really cries when he's very tired and at three mths he's learned to recognise his cot and once I lay him in he settled fairly quickly and drifts off to sleep.
Don't worry at this stage about him being dependent, use your gut instinct and what works for you. I'm sure you'll find things changed as he gets a little older.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Thanks Amanda, That is really helpful. We have been swaddling him and have tried a dummy which he doesn't seem to like but maybe we need to persevere a bit. I have an older child too and when my husband goes back to work, like you I think I will have no choice but to leave the little one to cry from time to time, especially around bath abd bed time. I think you are probably right that he is too young to get into very bad habits. I will let you know when he finally does settle! I guess it will just take time. Heidi x