I can tell you something of my experience. I have learned recently through a counselor that when my boys fought and I stepped to to "settle" things, my older son then resented his younger brother even MORE for what appeared in his mind to be my protection of his brother .. and his younger brother never learned to stand up or advocate for himself.
Once I learned to stay out of it (unless, of course, it was dangerous to their physical well-being), each situation .. instead of escalating .. each situation diffused quickly. They're learning how to be brothers now. Sad to say, I now have much worse troubles on my hands with one of them.
