Hi,
One of the greatest defences there is against solving lots of problems in our lives is the embarrassment, humiliation, shame and general 'I want to die' feeling that our ego's throw at us the moment there is ANY sign of us being imperfect.

How CAN a child admit, safely, to bad feelings in a society which is basically putting on an act?

This act we all put on to some extent or another, is a compensation. We adopt roles and personalities, do our duty, and follow rules - as best we can -and then forget we did that.

But inside, there is a lot going on that has not been aired or allowed out. It is this 'stuff' that takes us over when we get triggered.

And for every person who manages to control themselves there's another one out on the street going crazy or someone else having a heart attack - taken out by unfelt feelings.

Yes it's great to learn to control yourself but this is only a number one step. The next step, which only a few brave folk take, is asking ourselves 'Why do I have to contol myself?' In the old days it was lot of nonesense about 'sin' and 'evil' and so on -this is what has to be controlled. But this really IS nonesense. If we are willing to face all the stuff we pushed down, maturely and with as much self-honesty as we can muster, it clears - we have to control ourselves less and less, we are freer, we can be outragoues and safe...life gets back its colour and we are more powerful and more creative. God knows how this may help you Sharon! Kids are ok, they need safety and wide understanding, they need depth in us. They will be stifled brought up in a society of people looking like they are OK when inside is a very different story. I do free reports etc and ww.childproblem.co.uk - thanks for reading this
David Peet