We're having a terrible time getting our 2 year old to sleep. He seems to go to sleep at night all right, but during the night he always wakes up. It could be at 11:00 or it could be at 2:00. He may wake up only once or he may wake up multiple times.
We don't really know what to do. My suggestion is to let him keep crying. Go in the first time to try and comfort him and make sure he's OK, but then to let him cry. The thing is that we've always tried comforting him when he cried but he's just getting worse and worse. He slept through the night better when he was a year old than he does now.
The thing is, he is tremendously stubborn and last night we let him cry for about 2 hours before he fell asleep. Of course, my wife and I can't sleep with him crying and we worry he's doing something to himself that might be dangerous. He is a very adventerous boy and although he's still in the crib, I think he could get out if he really wanted to. This morning for example, when we finally got him out of bed, he was completely naked! It was terribly cold outside and of course we have heat, but I know I'd be cold if I had no blanket or clothes on half the night. (By the way he also hates to be covered with a blanket.)
Besides the fact that I don't know what to do about his not sleeping, I'm wondering if there is some underlying cause to it or if it's just bad habits that we've gotten him into.
Hi Erik,
It is the same as the answer I gave to your other query. It's about you - if he is stubborn, it's worth wondering if you might be? I'm just taking a guess here that you might not be that aware of how much 'stuff' you're carrying around and then seeing in others. We can only change ourselves and the miracle is, that then effects others. I know this to be true but regarding yourself I may be completely wrong in which case ok!
David
Your thoughts have merit and I agree with what you say. Not to pass the buck, but my wife can be terribly stubborn. Not that I'm an angel and I will try not to carry my bagagae around too much.
I feel he is getting a Payoff from crying at night, because he gets a visit from mum or dad, and a cuddle, and also, he could be discovering he has a little power here, and this can be addictive!
I think you may have nailed it when you said he has gotten into a habit. I hate to make it sound like he's crying for nothing, and that its all calculated on his part, because i know how upset kids get themslves, and the tears may well be genuine. But I think you need to make as little of this as possible, to give him a loud and clear message that night time is for sleeping.
The trouble is, as you have noticed, it may take a while for the message to sink in, since he is used to crying and getting a response. It might be that you still have to go to him at first, but stay very matter of fact. Keep your voice calm and maybe quite firm, and tell him, "its ok, im here, I love you, but its time for sleep." No cuddles, lay him down, walk away. You will very probably have to do this again and again (and again!!) for it to have an effect, due to the fact that hes got into a routine.
Can I just say I talk from experience here, my eldest was an awful sleeper, we had to do the above routine over and over, for quite a while. Oh, and I also noticed that he seemed to settle better for Daddy, I think he could (and still can) push my emotional buttons to the maximum, and knows it well! Your son might settle better for either one of you, and you might find it works best if only one of you deal with him. Make as little drama as possible, keep the message "its time for sleep, night night" loud and clear.
Big sympathies, the two of you must be very stressed having interrupted sleep on a regular basis.
I think it's just a matter of breaking the habit. We have had living situations where we were fearful of waking others. At first we rented an apartment and now we own a two family so we don't want to bother our "bread and butter" I mean, tenants. But I think we have to let him cry it out.
Last night seemed to be a little better. He woke around 11 PM and fell back to sleep at 12:30. It's just so hard to let him cry for so long. We do try to comfort him at first but that never works. He just goes crazy when we leave him. Still, I don't see that there's any solution as we don't want to keep doing this, and he is getting far too heavy for us to carry!
