Well it sounds like you're doing all you can... your hands are pretty well tied if your husband won't agree and stick by it. A mind that's changed against its will is of the same opinion still, so nagging won't do much good but do continue to let your feelings on the issue be known.

I didn't mean to offend with my comment about drugs or stripping, I just didn't want to sidestep the issue since your post made me wonder where she finds the money. I can understand gas money and cigs etc. but is she still making her actual car payment each month? I know in our partying days a number of my friends were doing small-time dealings for extra cash or to make ends meet and their parents would never have suspected in a million years.

Kudos to you for exploring your options and getting advice, doing all you can to look out for her best interests. You sound like a great stepmom, I hope you are appreciated.