Hi Liz,

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it. You've voiced my concerns in regard to how the teacher deals with the situation.
Recently I've had a meeting with his homeroom teacher, few other teachers and the Principal where we tried to figure out the reasons behind the behaviour. One teacher complained that my son was stubborn, another complained that he was not serious enough, always telling silly stories etc. Then they issued me with a report about his weekly behaviour. He will be getting one of those at the end of week, grading his behaviour during the week. I have to sign it and return in first thing Monday. They expect me to punish him according to what is written on the report. Should I do that?
At the meeting I felt that they are not really patient with him, nor are they taking right approach with him. I mean if you constantly tell him off and that he is bad he will beleive it after a while won't he? I've asked them to rethink how they deal with him but the homeroom teacher was defensive and a bit ****** :x
To tell you the truth I'm sick of punishing him, it seems it's the only thing I'm doing these days. For Gods sake he is not 7 years old yet and they expect him to behave like a grown up.
He is bright child but his grades don't show it. I don't know why he doesn't like to show how smart he is. I mean the kid took my new cell phone and started to take pictures and make videos while I was reading the manual LOL.

Oh, sorry for rambling and thanks for any input.

Jenny

The teachers are probably not patient with your son because teachers have to deal with about 20 to 30 kids in a classroom and when one child is constantly acting up and disrupting class then it's difficult for teachers to keep their patience with the child. This sounds harsh, but most teachers simply do not have the time to baby and coddle a child that is acting up. Obviously there is something wrong with your discipline plan if your son is not obeying you about behaving in school.

Hello again,

Ok, your son being stubborn and not serious enough are personality traits, not bad behaviour. Yes, he needs to learn to keep check of those things when hes at school, but its hardly something the school can point to as being a reason for him getting into trouble. A good teacher will be able to work around a child who is stubborn, using different strategies to help them behave better.

In regard to the report you will be getting, I think you need to ask whether the behaviours recorded in the report will be punished at school. If they will already be dealing with it in school, then I would have to say, No, one punishment for one misdemeanor is sufficient. I would tell them that, yes, I would speak to him regarding the report card, but no, I would not be administering further punishments.

I agree with Nicky that children need to see their parents supporting the school, and you CAN let him know you are doing this, by letting him see that you take the report card seriously. He doesnt need to know they have asked you to penalise him.

If you feel the school have the wrong approach, tell them so. Don't be intimidated by the fact they are teachers with degrees and they know it all. Like you said, he is only little and his life shouldnt be filled with constant negativity. He should be receiving praise and support as well as effective discipline. Please dont be afriad to say you feel their methods are wrong.

Frankly, I think a report card for a 6 year old is very heavy handed. However, think of it as a way you can actually see what they regard as "naughty", and whether or not they are being picky and inconsistent. You son needs to know exactly what is and isnt acceptable behaviour. Telling a child this age not to be stubborn, and to be serious, is far too vague, specifics are needed.

Stay in touch with us here on the board, we can at least be a listening ear, and try to advise where we can.

Best wishes

Liz x

Have to disagree with you Suzy, parents cannot make their children behave in school. The school must do that. I am a teacher and if a child is misbehaving in class I will discipline him. I don't expect the parents to have to punish him/her again. I wouldn't like to be punished twice for the same thing. I give out a punishment i think is fit for what has happened. Likewise, I wouldn't expect to be discipling a child for his behaviour at home.
Parents can make it worse but not supporting school etc. I hope tha parents back the school up but not don't punish him/her twice.
I recommend making an appointment to speak to the teacher.... ask what the strategies are in place, why they aren't working, what they intend to do now. Also ask if they think there is underlying cause. Talk to them abut his low self-esteem, maybe they have some strategies to help this.
It is true that teachers have 20-30 kids to look after, so maybe you need to talk to the school about the standard of behaviour they expect in class, so maybe you can discuss it at home with your son and explain why he has to behave in a certain way.
Good luck worried mum.... just be assertive with the teachers. If you and they work together, you can turn the situation around for your boy.