My husband and I have been separated for 4 years. I have two boys, ages 12 and 6. I am the primary caregiver. My children spend 1 night a week with their father. Lately my 12 year old, who is generally a really good kid, has started lashing out at me. This is out of character for him. Last night I sent both boys to bed and he started crying for his father. This is the first time in 4 years he has ever done this. I believe my son is doing this because he knows how upset I get when my children are upset. I am not a very good disciplinarian and very rarely ever punish my children in any way. Last night they were fighting uncontrollably with each other so I sent them to their room. When I asked my son why he wanted his dad he said because he has fun when he's with his dad. I'm not fun because I yell. I am really upset about this because I am the one who takes care of my children 98% of the time. I barely even get support from their father. I am a single mother and devote all of my free time to my children. I don't have a life, other than working. When I'm not working I'm home with the kids. I don't go out and socialize because I feel my place right now is with my children. I am not one who believes in therapy but I could sure use some advice.
if ur sonS want to spend more time with their father i think maybe they should se him two days a week, that way, you get more of a break to do stuff you want to do.
Tracy...just wanted to acknowledge your post, I'm a single mum too and it hurts when they say things like that, I get it all the time, wonderful precious daddy and boring old mum...just remember its easy to be a perfect parent when you only do it for a day or so at a time and don't have to go shopping/clean the house/help with homework (anyone who can get that wrong needs to take a serious look at themself) but hard work doing the IMPORTANT things that set them up for life especially without support and whereas dads reward is instant ours will be long term when they turn out to be ok adults.
Its just done to kick where it hurts, kids who live with both parents will have some other method of hurting them, ours use the other parent to stick the knife in.
Might be worth thinking about an extra night at dads if he'll have them, give you some time to build up a social life again. I long ago came to the conclusion that my unsupportive ex was nothing more than a piggy bank and a babysitter and use him for those as much as I can get away with...don't put it like that to the kids though obviously!
