My 18 month old granddaughter goes to bed easily for anyone except her mother. With her mother, she cries and fights going to bed. My daughter is starting to take it personally. What should she do?
She shouldn't take it personally. Lots of children save a special "playing-up" routine strictly for Mum alone! This is because they KNOW we love them so much! Pushing our emotional buttons is what they do best.
Tell your daughter to take heart, and not to try looking to everyone else for their way of dealing with this. It will only knock her self esteem as a parent and her little girl will see right through it.
She needs to get her own routine, something that works for her, and stick to it. I'm a big believer that bedtimes go well when they are absolutely, almost religiously predictable. A good plan is bath, bed, story, cuddle.
Some people offer a story if the child goes to bed without fighting. I tend to use that as a very last resort, I like to read my sons a story at bedtime whatever. But it can be a nice way to get them to look forward to bed.
The fighting is the obstacle. Once that has passed, the routine can become pleasant and fun. When the little girl realises bedtime is non-negotiable, your daughter can find ways to make it a nice time for mum and daughter to bond. But she needs first to stick to a firm routine, and not waver if the little girl gets up, or cries.
