Liz - thank you for your reply and your words of encouragement :)

Julie - thank you for sharing that with me, it's very reassuring to know i'm not the only one in this situation and that it could just be down to the move to year 2. You make lots of good points and there are several similarities between our children. My son can often be reluctant to tell me about his day at school also. Although he's not really lacking in confidence he's not one of the most outgoing in his class, he has also mentioned incidents of other children pushing him over etc.....so i am going to give this more attention and make sure it's not a case of bullying at all. The points you make about the relationship with the teacher are very valid also - i feel to a degree that my son has been labelled as a 'naughty child' and as such she may be quicker to single him out / make an example of him etc. So I shall speak to him tonight about his opinion of his teacher too. In his class the table are organised according to ability / concentration / behaviour and when i went in to see his teacher she told me she knows he has the ability and that he started the year on the top table but has now moved down 2 because he doesn't concentrate. I will ask about not letting him sit near his friends who he is disruptive with and see if this is feasible.

We don't actually have a reward chart at the moment but i think i am going to try and do one this afternoon - there are examples on this site aren't there? I was thinking that he could earn himself pocket money on a daily basis ie 30p a day for good behaviour for him to spend on the weekend. Does that sound like a good idea? I figured that would also teach him that he has to earn money and save for the things he'd like and if he behaves well at the weekend he can get a magazine and maybe some sweets.

thanks again, em x

I'd be careful giving money for good behavior, since you'll be in for some nastiness any time he decides he wants a raise.

I like the chart and reward idea, but I think the reward should be something other than money, more like a thank-you gift.

If you want him to learn about earning money, give him some extra chores so he's actually doing a job.

Just my 2 cents.

Also, in my humble opinion, authority is meant to be questioned. Otherwise we get idiots in places of power they have no business being in. Respect is earned... by self-respect, by doing what you say you will and having valid reasons for your actions. I LOVE kids who question authority, it shows they won't do just anything for just anybody. In this day and age, that's a very important self-preservation quality. The thing is, these kids EXCEL when you give them a REASON to. (BTW, when I was a kid, my teachers either loved me like gold or hated me with a vengeance. Depends whether they earned my respect or not. I graduated with honours. )

Definitely ask him about his teacher and other kids at school. You mentioned some not-so-nice things that he's doing at breaks (the jackets in puddles, etc.), but how exactly is he disruptive when he is being disruptive in class? Sometimes teachers call fidgeting disruptive when realistically children were not designed to sit in chairs all day and of course get restless. If your son tends to be very active he may just be having trouble with sitting still for so long.

hi aerin,

thanks for your reply - some good points there. Yes i was thinking about the pocket money thing over the weekend, and i agree - it would be better if the reward is something that involves him and i doing something nice together. perhaps like julie said - i could take him out for hot chocolate and a snack etc.

also, that's a really good point about questioning authority and to a degree it's my 'fault' as i always explain to him why he needs to do things, why he shouldn't do things etc. so i guess it's just that he wants to know WHY he should do this or that.

re how he's being disruptive in class - yes it is often that he's not sitting still doing as he's been instructed, or messing around with his friends.

i feel a lot more positive now. i'm expecting another call from the school today to arrange to go in and see them.

thanks, em x

Hi again Em,

Sorry I abandoned ship like that, it seems now, I have no better advice that what the other ladies have said. I echo the other post about questioning quthority not necessarily being a bad thing, people like that are the ones who make changes when they grow up, and will stand for what they believe rather than be Yes people.

How did your call from school go?

Liz x

when i took my son to school this morning the family liasion officer mentioned his behaviour to me as well. i informed her i am waiting for a call to arrange a meeting and asked her to chase this up for me. i'm hoping someone will ring once the school day is done.