Dear Lisa,

Thank you for coming back to tell us how it has been going. I'm sorry to hear that the good help you gave your niece seems to have been in vain! The good news on the nappy front specifically is that you can be pretty sure the girl will eventually work things out and train herself. More generic emotional issues, however, worry me more.

You say you feel like there is not much you can do now and to some extent of course that is true. But please don't under-estimate how important you are to this little girl that you love. When we have emotional issues at home, the knowledge that there is another adult who will always be there for us is invaluable.

When I was little, my gran was that person. I was rarely allowed to spend time with her and indeed sometimes didn't see her for a few years at a time, while going through some quite traumatic experiences with my mother. But I always had that knowledge that she was there to help me if it came to it. I fantasized for many years about running away to live with her until it came true when I was 15!

I'm not suggesting for a minute that my situation was similar to your niece's, but I do believe that you being there for her, letting her know that you love her in an appropriate rather than narcissistic (sp?) way, and are there to support her is a wonderful gift that she will value for the rest of her life.

cyberhugs,

Cassie


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